Tuesday, August 19, 2008

Forever Family!


Ah - family. No word can bring up more intense emotions. Like 'em, love'em, hate'em, or never knew 'em - there is no one that hasn't been affected in some manner by their family.

And then there are the chosen families. I'm blessed in that I have two chosen families. For decades (Egads!) I've called Geoff's mom "Mom." Okay - so has pretty much everyone who is important in geoff's world. But we've all adopted her as our own. I'm lucky in that now, by nature of marriage, she actually is mine!

And then there are the Perry's. Bruce and Sue (pink and blue shirts) were the best man and woman at our wedding. They hid the ring for Geoff. It was with their family present that he proposed. Sue is like the big sister I never had, and Shanna (middle, back row) is like the younger sister I never had!

There is nothing that I can't imagine doing for them - even sending my husband forth to take care of 20+ chickens for a few days. He HATES chickens as much as Indiana Jones hates snakes. The little guy in front is their grandkid...by a daughter/step-daughter from a previous marriage and life. As of today, he is their child. They officially adopted him into their family - legally, permanently, forever.

The kids have always know Geoff and I as Aunt and Uncle, and I count that as an honor and a privilege not to be taken lightly! Knowing what it is to be family, to be invited in and welcomed as a part of the clan is a gift.

Isiaha understands that through the eyes of a 7 year-old right now. It feels nice, there's lots of attention, and people love him. But it won't be for years that he understands the choices that were involved. Shanna's basically no longer an only child. Bruce and Sue have years more parenting ahead of them that were not in the plans. Geoff and I will be there as much as we can for all of them - to help with homework, listen to tears, go on joyrides and apple picking.

I'm proud of my Shanna (okay, she's not mine, but I claim her anyways in this!) - she's handling all the changes remarkably well for a young lady in the prime time of chaos - teenage years, transitioning to high school and generally trying to figure out exactly who she is. She's someone with spunk, pride, joy and a spirit that shines through - despite the fact that some days are really trying. Having to share Mom and Dad...her space...her world. It's been hard adjusting to having another little guy around at all times- but she's done it as gracefully as I believe could have been done. Sure, again, some days - it's still hard, and I'm sure she longs to be "the only one" again - but, inside I know this holds truer and stronger - she knows that Isiaha will have a good and stable home, with people (herself included) who love him enough to set rules, say no, and oh yeah - have a good time too!

It'll be tough for all of them - emotionally, financially, physically - but they will be there through it all for each other. The temper tantrums that are bound to happen, and the first love. The first car accident and the first date.

Bruce, Sue, and Shanna have made room in their house and hearts for a little guy who can be by turns stubborn, clingy, adorably cute, clever, and downright fun. It won't be for years that he sees that while they have taken him in (he is family) - that this isn't always a given. Sometimes there isn't a safe, loving space that this can happen. Sometimes the other family members aren't available - be they in another state, unknown, or unable to take care of a child.

Isiaha's birthday is in 3 days, and it may be years before he gets the gift that Bruce, Sue, Shanna and all those who love them have given. Until then, through pain, tears and laughter, they are family, and they are part of our family as well. And when that day comes, it will be wonderful to sit down with an older, wiser Isiaha and remember this day.

When his forever family chose him.


Monique (DCF) and George (Isiaha's Guardian Ad Litem) with Isiaha after the adoption in North Hero.















1 comment:

Rene' said...

this piece touched me because Vic and I are going through adoption proceedings right now. My heart goes out to this family. They took a real leap of love!

Rene'